there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
