I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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