that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I am naked and annoyed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
