i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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