my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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