Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
