Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
