I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
