I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
