I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you never un-have a 4some
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
