Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she pinky promised me she was 18
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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