yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Text me some of your sweat
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
