Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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