I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
