i think i have herpe
just one?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
