CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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