I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How external is "for external use only"?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
