You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
