aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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