I love black thongs
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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