if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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