dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
