Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
