Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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