Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
