is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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