You really coming over, don't trick.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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