Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
