You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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