so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
this hospital has no fireball
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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