i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
