Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
