Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
