who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
