I wish I could punch you in the face.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
