Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
