TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
