5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
