STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
