Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
