you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
