we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
