so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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