Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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