if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
