carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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