my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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