I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
