whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
