sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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