dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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