we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
