brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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